Grit 2.0 -- Know When to Fold 'Em (#229)

Kenny Rogers (1938-2020) was an American singer, songwriter, and actor. Over his lifetime, he had over 120 hit singles that sold more than 100 million records worldwide. Rogers's signature song and most enduring hit was “The Gambler,” a song written by Don Schlitz. Released in 1978, the song became a #1 hit and won Kenny the Grammy Award for Best Male Country Vocal Performance in 1980. Kenny went on to star in five films about the Gambler. I owned the album on 8-track — I know my brother and I wore that album out trying to figure out when to hold’ em and when to fold ‘em.

Kenny Rogers — “The Gambler”

If you aren’t familiar with the song, the chorus is:

You've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run

So how do you know when it is time to fold ‘em? Especially when you are in the midst of the pursuit of a gritty goal?

Quitting

I have talked extensively about grit, or the “will to persevere to accomplish your long-term goals.” But the flip side of the grit coin, is knowing when it is time to quit, or fold’em.

Here are four questions to ask yourself when you consider quitting something:

1. Why am I doing this in the first place?

   Every meaningful project, job, or adventure has its ups and downs. During the tough times it is easy to focus on the negative and how much the endeavor sucks. During those moments it is worthwhile to take a step back and remember the “why” behind the pursuit of the project, job, or adventure.
   One of the foundations of grit is understanding your purpose or your why. Most people haven’t taken the time to examine their why. Before quitting something, it may be worth it to sit down and gain a better understanding of your purpose.

   Take a look at my post on Personal Purpose and use the exercise at the end to re-examine your personal purpose. It is time well-spent understanding your why.

2. Why do I feel the need to quit?

   We want to quit something when it makes us unhappy or uncomfortable. In addition to understanding why we took it on in the first place, figuring out why we are thinking of giving up makes it easier to decide what’s best. Take the time to list out all the reasons why you need to quit the endeavor.

3. Is there anything else I can do to make this work for me?

   Sometimes, you’ve tried one method and it doesn’t work, so you need to try a different approach in order to get different (and better) results. Entrepreneurs do this all the time by “pivoting” their businesses when one avenue doesn’t work. For example, I pivoted TFCG into executive coaching after recognizing that certain programs that I thought were going to work, weren’t bringing in clients. It was one of the best decisions I’ve every made.

   For you, pivoting may mean asking for a lateral move in your company into a different position that provides more fulfillment, starting a similar, but different business, or giving up on triathlons to focus on cycling. Before quitting, it’s important to consider if there are other similar methods that will work better.

4. What do I gain by quitting?

Opportunity cost is defined as “the loss of value or benefit that would be incurred by engaging in that activity, relative to engaging in an alternative activity offering a higher return in value or benefit.” Everything has an opportunity cost, whether you choose to do something or not. For example, training to run a marathon means lots of miles and time spent every day running. The opportunity cost may mean you miss out on some Friday night parties. Sometimes, quitting something means you gain more resources to do something that’s more important to you.

When examining gains and losses of quitting, it’s worthwhile to lay out what you are doing and what the other option might be. Then list the pros and cons of each option. It becomes easier to see what you stand to gain or lose by continuing the current path or pursuing a different one.

Hopefully these four questions will give you better insight into knowing when it is time to hold ‘em or time to fold ‘em when pursuing a gritty goal.

Conclusion

Want even more? Reach out to me me here for help growing your grit, or deciding when to quit, through six months of executive coaching or a workshop for your whole team.

I published a book last summer on how to develop your perseverance and accomplish your goals — Grow Your Grit, available for sale at Amazon or check out the keynote presentation.

Go on the offense and use the four questions to decide if it is time to, like Kenny Rogers says, “fold ‘em.”