“Thinking of my achievements to date gives me courage in all situations – particularly being promoted to principal ballerina of the American Ballet Theatre. It was not only an achievement for me but for the scores of black women who were incredibly talented and deserving but never had the opportunity. I thank Under Armour for recognizing this and having me as an Under Armour athlete to inspire women everywhere!”

Misty Copeland, Ballerina

One of six children raised by a single mother, Misty Copeland became the first African American to be named principal ballerina for the American Ballet Theater (ABT), one of the three best classical ballet companies in the United States. It was not an easy road for Copeland. She had to overcome a vertebrae fracture, a tibia fracture, and over a decade of work until she was selected as a principal dancer. Fear of failure shadowed her throughout her odyssey.

Today, Misty is the most famous ballerina in the United States. To get to this position, Copeland leveraged her perseverance, like when she once said, “I may not be there yet, but I am closer than I was yesterday.” She is known for her many hours spent in the studio, as well as using Pilates, barre-a-terre, and swimming to build her strength and agility. She also had to overcome ballet’s bias towards white dancers. 

Even as a principal dancer, she used her courage to deal with her fear of failure. As the Swan Queen in the ABT production of Swan Lake, a YouTube video of her went viral when she failed to execute the 32 fouettés properly. Rather than deny it, she embraced the failure. She posted the video to her Instagram account and added a comment that “I will forever be a work in progress and will never stop learning.” Focusing on the learning process, like Misty does, is a powerful tool to build your courage.

Copeland’s grit has helped her succeed off the stage as well. She was in the Disney movie Nutcracker and the Four Realms and danced in a Diet Dr. Pepper ad. She is a sponsored athlete for the brand Under Armour. In 2017 she became one of the first non-model, spokespeople for an Estee Lauder fragrance campaign. Finally, she has written three books – Life in Motion: An Unlikely Ballerina, Ballerina Body: Dancing and Eating Your Way to a Leaner, Stronger, and More Graceful You, and a children’s book, Firebird. 

It wasn’t an easy road to the top. Using her grit and courage, Misty Copeland dealt with her fear of failure and worked her way to the pinnacle of the ballet world. 

Courage

The dictionary defines courage as the willingness to confront danger or uncertainty. Parachuting out of an airplane takes courage. In the case of grit, courage is demonstrated by managing the fear of failure. Gritty goals, like becoming the first African American principal ballerina, are typically stretch goals or targets exceeding what is expected. Each person has their own definition of a stretch goal. For some, it might be to make 1 sale a month. For the best salesperson in the company, it might be to make 10 sales per month. Improving your courage is the fourth step in growing your personal grit. 

Since the gritty goal usually exceeds expectations, fear of failure is a very real emotion that must be acknowledged and dealt with. For some, the fear of failure may manifest itself in a reluctance to try new things; self-sabotage such as procrastination, failure to follow-through, or anxiety; low self-confidence; or perfectionism, such as a willingness to try only those things that can be finished perfectly. As I have tried to accomplish tough, gritty goals, I have experienced all of those feelings. Overcoming that fear is a real challenge.

When I started my company, the Fivecoat Consulting Group (TFCG), in March 2020, I had a very real fear of failure. It was the first time I had started a company, the first time I didn’t have a regular paycheck, and the pandemic had just started. Companies were eliminating outside consultants to preserve cash and it was an extraordinarily tough business environment. I know many entrepreneurs and small business owners experience this same fear. I had lots of anxiety, sleepless nights, and little confidence. My thoughts always turned to the ideas of would people find the blog useful? Would people want to listen to me talk about leadership and grit? Would I be able to make ends meet? As I went through June, July, and August without a paying client, the anxiety only intensified.  

Three techniques – listing my fears, reframing my definition of success and failure, and focusing on learning -- helped me have the courage to deal with the fear of failure, especially when I didn’t have any clients. 

As Yoda from the movie Star Wars once said, “named must your fear be before banish it you can.” So, I listed my fears and developed a way to reduce some of the risk of each fear. To help build the list, I used some questions developed by Tim Ferris, noted author, podcaster, and entrepreneur:

• Define your nightmare, the absolute worst that could happen? For me, it was the company not bringing in any clients, I gradually exhausted my savings, and I would be forced to have to close TFCG

• Is any of this permanent? No, only a loss of some savings

• What steps could I take to repair the damage? Find a corporate or contractor job to recover the savings spent

• What is a more probable outcome? The business helps people become better, grittier leaders while bringing in enough revenue for me to make ends meet

• What are the outcomes or benefits, both temporary and permanent, of more probable scenarios? I learn new things as I create a company, I learn more about myself, and clients become grittier and better leaders

• How much time will you spend on the new endeavor? For me, I said I would commit everything to TFCG for one year. This time frame also helped me with reframing my definition of success and failure

Second, I reframed my definition of success and failure. Success of course stayed the same – have a thriving business where I was able to help people and businesses become grittier and better leaders. However, it took some work to reframe failure. I had failed at plenty of things in the military like the first time I attempted Air Assault School (failed sling load inspection), the first time at Jumpmaster School (failed Jumpmaster Pre-Inspection), the first time through the Florida Phase of Ranger School (failed patrols), and I wasn’t selected during tryouts to serve in the 75th Ranger Regiment. Each of those experiences helped me learn and grow. So, I took the same approach with TFCG -- not acquiring enough clients to keep the business functioning instead became a learning experience. I also had to separate the business failing from my self-esteem. The potential failure of TFCG is a result, not a way to describe myself. Just because I “failed” at starting a business in the pandemic doesn’t mean I’m a failure as a person.

Finally, I focused on learning. Building and growing TFCG has become a learning experience. I’ve learned how to build my own website on Squarespace, twice; I’ve learned how to blog; I’ve learned how to use MailChimp to send out emails twice a week; I’ve learned how to create LinkedIn posts that would get 30,000+ views; I have learned how to make sales; and I have learned how to deliver quality webinars. Looking back over the first year of standing up a company, it was a phenomenal learning experience that helped me learn about building a small business, growing as a person, and growing my own grit.

Conclusion

Misty Copeland failed many times as she became the most recognized ballerina in the United States. Overcoming a tibia fracture at age 30 and returning to the highest level on stage is astonishing. I’m not in the same league as Misty, but I too, have failed hundreds of times trying to reach professional and personal goals. Both of us developed courage to deal with that very real fear of failure. Whether you list your fears, reframe your definition of success and failure, or focus on the learning you can and will enhance your courage. Having the courage to risk the fear of failure is another powerful step in growing your grit.